At The End Of The Day

We Came, We Saw, We Kicked It's...

On the subject of new TV shows, Jack Myers media reports has a column today about which shows are breaking out of the pack.  The answer: none. On broadcast anyway. On cable, Jack cites Mad Men and Damages as shows that broke out of the pack.  Interestingly, Myers doesn't cite cable ratings.  There is also a lower threshold of success for cable shows compared to broadcast networks.

My favorite part of the Myers column, though, is the Mad Men picture he has.  I love the expressions on those guys.  "Are you kidding?  Of course we kicked your ass."

Bonus points again if you can name the movie the title of this post comes from.

It's About Time

Want to hear something funny?  Cavemen.

Not funny?  Neither is the show.  I think the writers and ABC didn't get that just because a caveman does something, doesn't make it funny.  It took about 10 minutes to realize it was torture to watch.  You know how they put all of the best lines in the show promos to get you to watch?  You know you're in trouble when they run all of those best lines and the credits aren't over yet.

Here's another one:  What do Cavemen and Total Recall have in common?  Two weeks.

That's how long the show will last.

Bonus points if you can guess why this post has this title.

NBC's not-so Rosie future

This just in: NBC will supposedly "do anything" to get Rosie O'Donnell on the network, including potentially hosting a prime time game show.

And I thought Joost had a problem with no quality content.

Prime time TV is lost

I haven't watched TV in prime time since the season finale of "Lost" (which actually I watched on DVR the following day).

I don't see the point. Not just because it's nice out and I have other things to do, but because after May sweeps, prime time TV is terrible.

I'm nearly a million months pregnant and by the end of the day, I could certainly stand to plop down on the couch and watch some good TV. Unfortunately for me, it seems that just doesn't exist after May sweeps. I'd rather watch re-runs of the good regular season stuff than this garbage.

Is ABC serious with "National BINGO Night"?

And who has even heard of "The Next Best Thing" or "Pirate Master"? I'm glad to see "On the Lot" is tanking. These shows almost makes the NHL playoffs sound appealing.

I subscribe to the Programming Insider newsletter. It's written by Mark Berman of MediaWeek and features highlights and low lights of the previous night's prime time shows.

I used to look forward to seeing ratings and what shows won their time slot or what network was leading in the coveted 18-49 demo. He also lists each network's line-ups for the coming night, occasionally some syndication or cable ratings and some TV trivia.

It has been one of my favorite newsletters since I discovered it, and I almost religiously scan it at the very least. Every day so far this week, I've deleted it, because I just don't have any interest in these terrible shows.

Is it too much to ask for a nice re-run? It seems I'm going to have to turn to Seasons 1 & 2 of "Lost" on DVD yet again.

I can make TV relevant

I'm not sure if this should be in the blog or not, because it unlocks the future of TV.

Everyone bemoans clutter (if you read this space, you know what I think about clutter). TV's struggle to stay relevant could have put the medium under if it were not still the best place to deliver mass audience. However, its content doesn't sing the way it used to, evidenced by "American Idol."

TV is too diluted, and the quality is highly inconsistent. Great television is still great and there is still "must-see" viewing. The mediocrity can be sickening.

So, note this document and the publication date, because you heard it here first. If anyone markets these ideas henceforth, I will be coming for my cut.

5 ways to make TV relevant:

1. Deliver ads on the remote control. The TV is in front of me and I may be looking--or may not be. That remote never leaves my hand. I love how it feels there. I look at it more than the big screen, and that's where the connection is.

2. Make the remote so portable and useful, you keep it with you at all times. Either that, or make a BlackBerry or cell phone a universal remote as well.

3. Make it easy to blog comments or e-mail for immediate feedback. MTV kind of moved this way with "TRL." But it needs to be more mainstream and easier. Think about "MST3K" for the masses, without weird characters. Want to hold an audience? Promise them their comments will be on screen soon.

4. Make gambling, or some kind of pools, legal on TV. Part of what makes the NCAA basketball tournament so fun is the bracket action. What if you could set up friendly wagers on any game you see on TV, and other people watching could take you up on the action?

5. Make the remote voice-activated. They are getting complicated, for me anyway. My kids know all about those funny-colored buttons. I don't.

The change and demise of a brand

I read that Bob Vila's show, now just named "Bob Vila," has been cancelled by CBS Syndication.

Do you realize he has been on TV since 1979? The original "This Old House" started then and had Bob as host for 10 years. He was only 32 at the time.

I remember back to the first shows, when the premise was renovating an old house using primarily "sweat equity," the owner's labor, to save cost and get an old house livable at a bargain. Bob helped out as best he could, but wasn't really a genius about such things, leaving decisions to the homeowner.

Man, how he--and the show--changed.

Most of us remember Bob more as a tool hound, trying out all the latest gadgets, working the heavy equipment, convincing homeowners to go for the highest level improvements. In some ways he was more like his caricature, Tim Taylor, than himself. But audiences loved it enough to keep him on air for 28 years.

The interesting thing is how much Bob has changed over that time. Imagine if he stayed the humble fixer-upper guy? How fast would that have gotten boring?

You know where I'm going.

Imagine if brands all stayed the same? Even the retro brands, the ones that ask you to go back in time to remember how great they are, update themselves.

Bob seems to have fallen victim to the proliferation of home improvement shows and channels. CBS I guess couldn't find a way to differentiate him, so they took him out.

I really didn't want to see Bob Vila as a commodity anyway.

Caveman plot needs to evolve

More on the Geico caveman show.

According to this bit in Ad Age, the story line for this show is how three cavemen are always pissed off about Geico's use of the tagline, "so easy a caveman can do it."

I hope that's not true. It's just...lame.

They've done so well with the "Caveman's Crib" and all of the extra story lines coming out of the campaign. Are they going to blow it here?

One piece of advice, if it doesn't work, don't do it. I hereby take back my earlier recommendation to buy advertising on the premiere.

At least wait to see the pilot.

Out of the cave and into your living room?

Look out. The Geico cavemen are getting respect now.

That's because ABC has ordered a series pilot featuring the cavemen as principal characters.

I don't know if it's going to last, or even make it on the air. But, my advice as a media buyer to potential advertisers -- get on the first show. It doesn't matter if it lasts or not, the ratings for the first show will be killer.

Kudos to the Geico people for doing a great job extending the campaign through multi and interactive media applications (I'm not all about griping).

Look at that also -- the copywriter who created the campaign is writing the pilot. Every writer's dream. And nightmare.

What if it bombs?

Diary of a madman

I'm deciding what you're going to watch on TV.

It's not because I select media for clients, and therefore determine where advertising dollars go (and therefore which shows are profitable and stay on the air). For this week, and this week only, I'm a Nielsen diary household.

But how much influence do I really have? I'm part of a relatively small sample (but statistically valid, I won't argue that). The real news in this area is the legal wrangling that is part of efforts to improve ratings and reporting methodology.

Nielsen is pretty close to the only monopoly left in this country. While they're trying their best to improve actual ratings, the masters they serve--TV networks and advertisers--have become beholden to Nielsen.

What other choice is there? I need some level of measurement to determine if my clients' money is going to the right place. But I want those measurements to be as accurate as possible. I don't want to pay for people who turn the TV on and walk away--or sleep through commercials.

Networks want me to pay for the extra people who watch in communal areas (like bars for sports events) and for commercials that people record and view later.

So here comes a competitive entry, and Nielsen, in its fashion, tries to crush them.

What is the outcome?

Stay tuned. Nielsen eventually must make way for competition. It's inevitable.

And, you heard it here first.

CBS does a nice impression of FOX

Every time I see a promo for "Armed and Famous" while watching CBS, I wonder, "Who changed the channel to FOX without me noticing?"

This concept really seems a bit more up the alley of FOX or the CW.

CBS describes the show like this... "Dancing is for wimps! Five brave celebrities will train to become sworn police officers with the Muncie Police Department in Indiana. They will help clean up the streets by arresting the bad guys, including drug dealers, hookers and johns, wife-beaters, burglars, the drunk-and-disorderly and more."

First of all, I think it may be a stretch to call this ensemble of people "celebrities." The "Armed & Famous" group is made up of Erik Estrada, La Toya Jackson, Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, Jack Osbourne and Trish Stratus.

Don't get me wrong. I watched and loved "CHIPS," but when Erik Estrada is the one in the group that is most recognizable, I'm not sure it's such a great line up. And who knew the streets of Muncie, Indiana were so polluted with such bad guys?